Lord of the Rings Fan Fiction
Aragorn and his friends were Striding
They always enjoyed Striding to relax when things were getting stressful. They thought nothing Striding all the time – it was just a way of life.
But things were different today.
Someone was watching them enjoy Striding, and it was starting to get creepy.
“The creepy guy is creeping me out”, said Arwen.
“Yes, me too. ”
Just then the man walked over too us.
“I am a talent scout”
“Owww…THAT explains it”
“Aragorn, I have been watching you while you did some Striding. Your skilled. VERY skilled.”
“Oh, yes, Aragorn is great at it” said THE LONG HAIRED WOMAN.
“INDEED. maybe the greatest. Look at Aragorn’s body. His ankle! His arm! His nose! Its like he is built for Striding! Every aspect of his perfect physique built for that one divine purpose. ”
“I am thus going to officially invite Aragorn to the Striding championship!” continued the talent scout.
“We are going to the championship!?” said Arwen
“Yes, the ticket has a +1. And you both go straight to the final!”
“But you will be fighting against someone else that made it to the final…someone you know well….Sauron!”
“Then its settled” said the longhaired man. “We go. We cant let the man of lies win at anything. Even Striding.”
So they left for the stadium.
A little Later, Arwen Undmiel was taking a crap.
She was having trouble though.
It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.
“Help..Errrr… ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?” The beautiful woman exclaimed, Her face wincing with effort.
She made every effort in her little girl body to expel this demon thing from her curvy back side.
Just as The daughter of Undmiel was going in for another push..
Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!
“Well hello…The black haired woman” a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.
A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. Her deep, sensual voice which Arwen knew immediately. Her mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from her face.
“The lady of Lothlorien… is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake…?”
She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.
However She couldn’t with The long haired woman near by….they were like family now.Lady Finarfin was like Her father.
Any sane person would never allow their own father to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!”
“Oh I felt dirty from questing all day…ya ever feel dirty Arwen Undmiel?”
“Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never” Arwen Undmiel shrieked, She became so immensely worked up he cleaned her colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence she just unleashed, who cares? The strong woman heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up Arwen Undmiel’s spine.
“Oh you’ve always been the shy one in the family, The black haired woman…”
Arwen was not shy, at all. She defeated the man of lies and blew up His evil machines for Christ’s sake! and now she suddenly found herself speechless. Was She going to see his metaphorical father literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a sprinkle on the banana split of carnal pleasures that was to come.
“..the shy and excitable one.” said Galadriel Finarfin finishing the sentence She started earlier.
“Wh-what the…” and before The daughter of Undmiel could send the third word out of Her mouth..
..The strong woman’s towel dropped to the floor, revealing her swimsuit underneath.
The long haired woman noticed everything on her instantly. Her soft butt,her magically gravity-defying breasts and the tiny thingy colored birth mark on her butt, which made Her feel funny…as She had one there too.
Still, the sight of her near perfect body caused The beautiful woman to feel funny in places she had never felt before.
“hehe oh my The half-elven woman…you’re more impressive than I thought.”
“uh… ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Lady Finarfin, you’re cute too.” THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through her head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before her spoke otherwise. Her shapely body was everything The half-elven woman could want …in a body to make use of. Yet did family like relationship matter?..
But just as The half-elven woman was committing. Committing to a path that they couldn’t go back from.
The longhaired man burst into the toilet!
“What are you too upto?”
“Err..nothing” said The beautiful woman as she causally slipped her pants back on.
Galadriel Finarfin, who Aragorn didnt notice, picked up her towel and backed out slowly.
“I was just having a shit…see?” The black haired woman gestured to her shit.
“Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!
Ok, if your done we better go”
So The half-elven woman put her other pants on and left. She had a serious case of blue balls, but at least her anus didnt feel so bad now.
As she walked out The lady of Lothlorien whispered one word. A word fall of hope.
The half-elven woman Giggled.
Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn’t notice.
The next day, Aragorn was nervous.
He was good at Striding, some would say the best. But was he really the best? The best at Striding on Middle Earth? Aragorn was about to find out, as the contest started soon.
The Heir of Isildur thought back to a few years ago.
Later on, frodo awoke sam at night.
He looks longingly at Sam
“What is it Mr Frodo sir?”
“I cant do it Sam.”
“Cant do what Mr Frodo”
“The ring, it weighs too much (not literaly, metaphor), I cant carry it any more.”
“I love you mr frodo sir, but not nesscerily in a gay way. just in a man love way.”
“I know Sam. But it doesnt help.”
“I wish it did, I wish my love for you could help mr frodo”
Suddenly, then, Gandalf appeared. He looked with amusement at the hobits.
“Maybe it can” he said as he cast a spell.
“What did Gandof do mr frodo?”
“I cast a spell” said Gandalf.
“Now your love will help frodo carry the ring”
“I can feel it, the ring is lighter thanks to your love now”
“Dont mention it mr frodo sir”
And he didnt ever again, but deep down he new Sams gift of love was saving him from the rings evil.
Happy times, before all the the troubles with Sauron got really bad.
Breaking out of his deep thoughts, The Heir of Isildur decide to go to the Arena early, perhaps do a few laps as a warm up.
Strider casually strolled to the Arena while practicing Striding.
As Aragorn walked out he was surprised to see The lord of Morder already there!
Sauron was clearly upto something. The Heir of Isildur had to find out what it was!
“What you upto The lord of Morder?” yelled The Heir of Isildur.
“You will never find out!” yelled back Sauron, who wanted to keep his plan a secret.
Frustrated, Aragorn started practicing Striding, never taking his eye of Sauron as he did so.
Legolas joined them a few minutes later.
“Hi The Heir of Isildur!” he said
“yes. Hello Legolas. Good to see your in the contest too. For now”
But before Legolas could hear what villain had said, it was time to start!
They walked to the start line, and bent down ready.
The crowd was getting big. Many fans had banners saying stuff like
‘Go Aragorn Go Aragorn Go Aragorn’
‘Go Go Go Sauron your the best!’
The starter pulled their hand cannon out and got ready to fire.
Legolas, Sauron and The Heir of Isildur all waited with anticipation.
Legolas started breathing heavily
The tempter tensed. Ready to go.
Aragorns skin glowed with excitement
The starter fired the hand cannon…..at GREENLEAF!
LEGOLAS COLLAPSED instantly. Sauron started Stridinging, laughing manically as he did so.
The Heir of Isildur was in shock, and raced over to Legolas.
“He shot you!” but why?
“Owww…I am shot bad”
The starter stared at their weapon.
“I didn’t mean too…my hand cannon acted weird!”
The longhaired man looked at the hand cannon.
“Yes….this hand cannon clearly has been sabotaged to shot at Legolas.”
“Typical” said Legolas.
“What now?” said Strider.
“You have to go on” said Legolas, still bleeding.
But just then the clack-son went off!
It was half time!
Galadriel winked at The half-elven woman when no one else was looking.
“Later” she mouthed at her silently so no one could hear.
As Greenleaf was carried taken to hospital by stegosaurus, Aragorn and Arwen retired to the locker room.
The sorceror was already there, still grinning.
“Oh what a shame. Legolas isn’t going to compete any more. Even doing nothing I’m going to come second. You know…I might just let you win..out of my….generosity… ” Sauron sniggered again.
With that The sorceror left out the backdoor.
“Gosh darn-it” The long haired woman said. “The man of lies drives me mad! ”
“You know, I think he had something to do with Legolass accident ”
Aragorn was thinking. Hard.
“The tempter is never generous. Lack of generosity is his number one defining characteristic. Well, that and evil”
“That means…” said Arwen, her slow cogs working.
“…He wants to come second!” said Aragorn, thinkingly.
“Do you think thats…”
“….because he wants the second prize medal!” said Strider, winning again.
“It must be because the second prize is really Ring ”
“Yes, now that Iook at the second prize I notice it now. Its clearly the Ring”
“That explains why someone would want to become second!”
“So we have to beat the tempter by being the best at coming second? How are we going to do that…you have never lost before! ”
“I know” said the longhaired man. “I am not sure I know how”
“You got to though. Just this once you got to come second!”
“No I cant. But I have an idea….you could compete!”
“Me?” said Arwen Undmiel, surprised. “Do they even allow girls like me to do Striding?
“Yes, its a modern contest, a few girls have already competed. I’ll win the contest as normal, and you will come second. You can do this!”
“Ok Aragorn, I’ll do it. I’ll do it for you”
Then the Gong went again, the final leg of the Striding contest had begun!
Later, The long haired woman and The female Elf were alone again.
“Its Later” said The female Elf, pulling The beautiful woman towards the bathroom.
“But what about the others?”
“I’ll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing”
“True. They are all idiots”
Then, suddenly, The lady of Lothlorien was naked. Arwen Undmiel wondered how She did that. She must have been nearly naked this whole time!
The shower turned on…
..The beautiful woman was already.
Galadriel lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off Her body at a seductively slow pace. Arwen Undmiel could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through Her veins.
The alluring look of her nudie comrade became too much for her to fathom and her body started sweeting.
There The daughter of Undmiel sat, Her gold pants pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with Her bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from Her face.
The blonde giggled as Arwen Undmiel’s dignity shriveled and died, but The beautiful woman had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after She found out She was Her own flesh and blood.
“Well…wh-what do we do now?” The long haired woman said, desperately trying to sound suave.
“It. We do it.”
“we do it?”
…and with that Galadriel jumped on Arwen Undmiel. And they cuddled and hugged a lot.
“I love you The female Elf”
“I love you too The Evenstar….lets get married”
And they did!
The black haired woman looked especially radiant in a dress. Later, after their honeymoon they continued their adventure (with non of their friends any the wiser)…..
The daughter of Undmiel and Aragorn stepped into the arena again.
The tension was high, like a tree, high.
Aragorn could feel it.ARWEN COULD FEEl it.The tempter could feel it. The crowd could feel it.
This contest was about to get real!
“Good luck” said Sauron snearingly at them.
“Maybe you will even win” he said while laughing manically.
“I know what your upto …and that’s why The daughter of Undmiel is also going to compete! You will never come second Sauron!”
“Yes, that right I am competing!” said Arwen while climbing into her Striding-ing outfit.(getting dressed behind a screen out of view, of course!)
“It doesn’t matter you will still lose”
“You mean she will come second?”
“Yes. At coming second. She will lose at coming second.”
“NEVER” screamed The Evenstar! Just as the starters wand went of.
With that everyone started Striding-ing frantically.This went on for the normal 5 hours. It was a tight contest, the crowd was on the edge of their seats. Sauron and the beautiful woman were sweating oceans of wetness.
It was getting near the end now and Sauron could see he was losing. Suddenly he whipped out his bow and arrow and used it on Arwen at point blank range.
Arwen collapsed. It was only a mild blow but it was enough to put her out of the contest.
Aragorn rushed back.
“Are you ok!?!”
“You have to come second. Its our only hope now”
The longhaired man turned to the contest judge but they had been looking the other way and saw nothing.
“Ha! See you cant defeat my cunning!” said the man of lies.
“No I’ll beat you! I beat you good like a song with a good beat like Wannabe!” said The longhaired man who was starting to do Striding again frantically.
“Thats not a good song” said The tempter who was right.
“I’ll beat you anyway”
They argued as they Stridinged, and the crowd was still on the edge of their seats.
Suddenly Aragorn slowed down!
“Ha!” said Sauron triumphantly….as he went past the finish line!
“I’ve won I’ve won!! I’ve won the world Stridinging champion contest!”
“Yes. And I’ve…come second” said Aragorn.
“What…..NOOOO……you tricked me into winning!” said Sauron upset.
But it was too late The tempter got the first prize award and Aragorn got the second place award…which was really One Ring!
Sauron left the arena with his first prize sad and depressed to go back alone to his basement.Strider triumphant took the second place prize…..the first he had ever got…..and run held it up to the crowd who cheered like mad but they didn’t really know why.